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(#1882) Tom W (Dana Point, CA)
7/17/1998 in Atlanta, GA  EVENT: 23rd Atlanta Roundup  TYPE: AA, Male, Story

Sober over 32 years since January 1966 at age 32, Tom is very funny.

"This may be sacrilege in AA but I loved to drink. I loved everything about it....Life interfered with my drinking."

He grew up in Santa Monica, CA. He started drinking in grammar school. He stutter except when he drank.

He went to a rich kids' reform school in New York City in the 40's when he could have been enjoying the city in its heyday.

He volunteered for the army in 1953, got married, had two kids only because it fit his tendency to do everything the easier softer way.

They were in a miserable marriage for 20 years.

He went to work for his dad doing electrical contracting and is still doing it. He drank every night and on weekends but not at work, at first.

Later he drank while doing electrical work in rich homes while also raiding their medicine cabinets.

He was not a glamorous drinker rather preferring hiding it and sneaking around.

"I was dying inside and going crazier."

But he knew he was raised better than that.

He told a psychiatrist the truth about what he was feeling inside but not about his drinking.

He took the Librium and other pills as prescribed; in fact he took them even more than prescribed because he wanted to get better now.

Serious suicide attempt. Nut house. Back out and immediately drinking.

Then, in a moment of clarity, he called AA and went to his first meeting (funny observations here).

He spends the last third of the talk describing his sometimes rocky journey in recovery.

He shared a parayer his sponsor gave him:

"God, I have no idea where I'm going. I do not see the road ahead of me and I cannot know for certain where it will end nor do I really know myself.

And the fact that I think I am following Your Will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe this: I believe the desire to please You does in fact please You and I hope I have that desire in everything I do and I hope I never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know if I do this, You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it at the time.

Though I seem to be lost, in the very shadow of death, I will not be afraid because I know You will never leave me to face my troubles all alone."

(52 min) (12.1 MB) (id#1882)