AA and Al-Anon
Speaker Recordings
"Experience,
Strength and Hope"

PART 1 OF 6
EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY

Tom made a quick list of 27 things that impact negatively his emotional sobriety before going into the steps:

1. Expectations - "A genuinely troubling kind of quality...I try not to put expectations on anybody for anything to the best of my ability"
2. Old Ideas - "Old Ideas come in all kinds of shapes and sizes."
3. Limited or unclear commitments
4. Dishonest - "I don't lie now unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't tell somebody they got an ugly baby. They're all beautiful."
5. Not practicing principles - "If what you see is not what I say I am then goodbye emotional sobriety."
6. Resentments - "An irritation that turns inward and gets infected."
7. Feeling Beleaguered - "...under a lot of heat and a lot of pressure, now that's self-imposed and that's the good part of it.
8. Overcommitted - "Which is a lot like beleaguered...."
9. Trying to be All things to All People - "People respond to me as I teach them to do...old Tom will get it done."
10. Activity vs. Action - "Both are worthwhile things...My first five years I was incredibly...franticly active...It protected me from myself...but it would have been pretty bad if I would have continued to do that forever. An action is something that anchors me into a solid affiliation."
11. Me vs We Thinking - "thinking only in terms of me and what I get...It's been an awful lot of years since I've gone to a meeting and had any thought whatsoever of what I needed.
12. Carrying the World on My Shoulders
13. Using People - "Not thinking about their welfare but their usefulness to me and something I want to get done."
14. Self-Centeredness
15. Criticism and Gossip - "Constructive Criticism is a myth...I really believe that gossip is a dangerous thing. It can be a deadly thing...where trust is critically important."
16. Negative Thinking - "...pulls down my zest for this Program."
17. They Don't Do It Right - "We are the most difficult people on earth to deal with as far as change is concerned. We don't even like change when it's our idea...People develop what fits them."
18. Self-Pity - Says it all
19. Depending on People vs Higher Power
20. Erratic or No Step Work - "Erratic is about as bad as none...The operative term is how do you relate or how do you identify never what do you think. The whole thing was to make the story in the book My story of recovery."
21. Worry - "98% of the things I worry about most, never happen."
22. Lack of Focus - "Paying attention."
23. Discouragement - "One thing about our deal, it is important to focus on the good news because, in all reality, we deal with a tremendous amount of bad news...Everybody that walks in these doors has the same potential that I do for finding a brand new life."
24. Change Your Mind - "What we have here is such a fragile thing...What I have been many, many years building up can be as if it never happened."
25. Fear - "That's huge...If I had to rename 'alcoholism'...I think it would be 'self-centered fear'."
26. Stinkin' Thinkin' - "There is nothing so bad that a drink won't make it worse."
27. Money, Property and Prestige - "I think it is awfully important in terms of the stability and the steadiness and the wellness of sobriety is that I not get caught up in money, property and prestige."