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(#1570) Dottie G (Asheville, NC)
1/6-8/2006 in Asheville, NC  EVENT: Spiritually High in the Land of the Sky XXI  TYPE: NA, Female, Story


Clean 27 years since 1990, Dottie was born in 1962 in a small town in Florida, the 7th of 8 kids.

Her dad was a Presbyterian Minister with explosive anger, her older siblings got arrested for having the largest pot field in the history of the county and mom, who she remembers only barely, suffered from depression and spent much time in mental institutions.

Dottie felt all the chaos was somehow her fault.

In 1972 her dad was ousted by the congregation in Florida and they moved to Charlotte, NC. There she found alcohol first - tried pot but did not like it. Being bad got her more attention than being good. By 12 years old she was using everything except IV but by 14 she was shooting narcotics as well. She was exposed to things no 14 year old should see.

The shame drove her to attempt suicide five times in two years. There were no "good ole days of using".

Though she never got a felony, she did get four DWI's mixing drinking and driving as well as several paraphernalia arrests.

At 21, in 1983, she went to treatment. Owing money to some very bad people, she was thinking of hiding out rather than getting clean.

Her denial of being an addict and alcoholic went to amazing extremes but they did not throw her out because they knew she was going to die.

Ten months clean, she started working as a counselor. In many ways she was still untreated and got sick with bulimia. Got over that but went from one obsession and compulsion to another.

She stayed clean for almost six years and picked up having just left a meeting. She started drinking. Two hours later she was hunting the dope. In 10 days she was in the hospital.

"I didn't fit in the rooms anymore and I didn't fit on the streets...because something had changed inside."

She came back into treatment but was dead inside. Using after having some time is devastating. She kept relapsing until one night, with more dope than she had ever had she could not get high.

That was her last use. She immersed herself in the literature.

"Bring the body and the mind will follow. Being in here is better than being out there...
I surrendered and I got rid of the reservations I had."

(57 min) (19.8 MB) (id#1570)